[EastValleyChoraleMaillist] Something neat for you computer geeks...and everyone else

[Cochran, Bruce-P56993]

Something from Denis Waitley...

Happy Belated Valentines Day! I thought this was an appropriate
Jumpstart for the day after Valentines Day, so enjoy! -- DW
Customer Service Rep: LOVE Technical Support
Customer: I'm not very technical, but I think I can do it if you talk me
through. I am ready to install now. What do I do first? 
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your
HEART?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.
Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: It depends. What programs are running?
Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,
and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite
LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However,
you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those
programs will prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn
those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should see a message that says it will reinstall
for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed now?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need
to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops... I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.
What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE
program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on
your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before
it can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them
to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you
need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never
comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that
WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves into
my HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle
it from here. One more thing before I go...
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and
return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help
Love, 
-- Denis Waitley
P.S. This was sent to me in an anonymous e-mail. Maybe one of my
friends, peers or family members was giving me a gentle hint.

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